5 Things to Abandon in 2015

Each of these tips were derived from numerous sessions with numerous clients.

1. The "I am an island" mentality.

I have seen people be very dismissive of others through many memes. "I am my own team." "If you aren't for me, you're against me." And many, many others with similar messages. The posters may be intending to self-protect. However, constantly pushing people away doesn't send the message that you want others in. For example, if you view everyone as expendable, you're not sending the message to others that you're a friendly person, and possibly someone that they would want to be around. Sending the wrong message can attract the wrong types of people into your life. If that's the case, you'll continue to be pushing people away. Who wants to spend their life doing that? Every time someone disagrees with you, says something you don't like, gives you brutal honesty, etc. doesn't mean it's time to press the "eject" button.

Alternative: Accept that you DO need people. Because, guess what ... people DO need you. Everyone has something to offer to someone else. Which means that you have something to offer. Who will receive it? I don't know. But I do know that if you continually push people away, you won't know either. Likewise, someone out there has something that you can receive. Who? I don't know. But I do know that if you continually push people away, you won't know either. You get the point...

Note: Keeping yourself open to others is not the same as allowing people to use or abuse you.

2. Being short-sighted.

5+4=9; but so does 6+3. Also, "there's more than one way the skin a cat." Because you think a certain way, do perform actions using certain methods, does not mean that the only way to accomplish something is the way you think if should be accomplished. This is a mindset that can span hundreds of ways of thinking and behaving. Just because someone challenges your methods or your actions or your thoughts doesn't always mean they are attacking you. Don't be so quick to become defensive. Not everyone is out to "get" you. Sometimes, others just don't understand your ways and may question them. Relax.

Alternative: If someone questions you and you've explained yourself, and they continue to press the matter, try saying something like this: "I have my way, and you have your way. There's nothing wrong with my way in my mind, and there's nothing wrong with your mind in your mind. So, we're both happy. We both win." And be done with it.

3. Hiding behind social media.

In 2014, I have watched some of the most harmful status posts, tweets, comments, memes, etc. I mean, Wow! Verbal attacks on race, language, ethnicities, religious groups, occupations, genders, and so many others have gone across my eyes approximately 40% of my social media time. That is just way too much! I'm sure there are several reasons for why people think it's alright. But I don't. Yes, people have freedom of speech, but NO ONE has the right to attack and basically cyber-bully another. Simply because they can? Not good enough. Stop it.

Alternative: Stop. The more time spent making others look bad, the less time you spend looking good.

4. Image obsession.

Cosmetic surgery, injections, Botox. These are apparently fads of yesteryear. Now, it's butt-lifting girdles, miracle creams and pills, starving yourself, and the worst of all ... waist cinchers. Now, I know that none of these things are new; but they have made an amazing comeback! I'm all for someone wanting to lead a healthier lifestyle. But when will people learn that quick-fixes just don't last? I've seen women walk around with a waist cincher for hours, endure bruising and all, and still eat fast food. {insert confused face here}

But why does this continue? Because of image obsession. "I can eat what I want as long as I look good in my dress." That type of thinking. That's because those people are unhappy with the way they look. And don't even get me started on the hours and endless dollars some women spend on makeup and designer purses, and men spend on certain name-brand watches and shoes. Definitely read point #5.

Alternative: Like I said, I'm all for people wanting to lead healthier lives. Kudos to you! Exercise and eating well are really the two major factors to good health. There's nothing wrong with spoiling yourself with material things from time to time. However, be careful not to allow yourself to think less of yourself if you don't do one of these things. If you want to lose 40 pounds, don't wait until that happens to love yourself. If you wear makeup daily, don't believe that you're less-than-beautiful without it. If you make large purchases, how will you feel about yourself if you can't afford it one day? You are still you. You are still a great person. Your inner image is the one you should obsess about, more than what others see.

5. Spending, not Investing.

A definition of "spend": to pay out, disburse, or expend; dispose of (money, wealth, resources, etc.). This also includes time. A definition of "invest": to use, give, or devote (time, talent, etc.), as for a purpose or to achieve something. This also includes money. I'm not going to act like it's not fun to spend money. It is! When you get to a point where you have dispensable funds, you like to be able to spend on yourself. So, let's say you have $200 per paycheck to play with (after bills are paid and money is placed in savings, etc.) with 26 paychecks per year. If you spend it all on yourself, you would have spent $5200 in one year. If you were to only use half of that money on yourself, you still spent $2600 on yourself and you saved $2600! Wow! That's an investment! And you still had fun with your money!

And what about your time? Use the same concept with your time. Spare time can be invested to achieve something. Learning how to do something like sew or cook or using the time to exercise (see #4) can be time well-invested.

Alternative: Weigh your resources carefully. Your time, your money, all of them. Make wiser choices with how to use them. Increase your investments.

To receive help with leaving behind some things, request a FREE phone call. Let's get you off to a great start in 2015!





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