I've heard it said many times. I've read it many times. I've seen it on social media many many times.
"Elevation requires separation.”
I began to think about that quote. It lends to the thought that, if I want to go somewhere in life, I have to separate from something. Or some things. Maybe even a person, or people. Or places. I began to wonder if that was really healthy. It almost sounds like I need to be isolated in order to get ahead. Hmmmm.....
Recently, I was on a conference call about self love coordinated by one of my Purpose Partners, Famira Green the Diamond DIVA. The speaker, Jonaee Brown, made a wonderful statement: “Some things in our lives need to be improved, repaired, or demolished.” Now, this I agree with. Not everything needs separation; some things need our attention on other levels as well.
Let’s think of this in the form of a noun (person, place, thing, or idea).
Part 2: Places. Okay, unless you are the property owner and have absolutely no other alternatives, let’s go ahead and remove demolition from the options here. Just so you know, you can’t use my blog in court. *insert laughter here*. Anyway, recall that this series is about elevation. We will look at this from the development of a "sense of place".
"The whole earth is our home and yet we develop a sense of place and a spiritual connection with the place where we actually live." Satish Kumar
How does one improve a place? Well, for starters, many people remodel. If the bathroom is outdated, they upgrade! But what is behind the upgrade? It could be many things. For example, if someone desires to sell a house, they may remodel certain areas of the house to make it more valuable or attractive to buyers. When my parents were toying around with the decision to sell or stay in their home after retirement, they decided to remodel the master bathroom regardless of their decision. They ultimately decided to sell, but if they decided to stay, they'd have an upgraded bathroom. That would make my mother feel happier in her home. There are many reasons someone makes improvements on a place. Create good feng shui, upgrade or update your surroundings (like my mom, lol), etc. However, improvement a place can be rephrased to "change your surroundings". Maybe, instead of consistently visiting a location that brings sorrow or negative energy, go someplace different. In a conversation with one of my mentors, she suggested that I change my usual hang-out locations. She believes that my mindset has expanded and, in order to meet a man that is more compatible for me, that I should change my hang-out locations. That's another way to improve a place.
Repairing a place, or that place's meaning, takes time. It's usually a process that requires a plan. Remember, from the first blog in this series, something is repaired after it suffered damage or decay. Repairing a place from damage or decay in the physical sense is pretty self-explanatory. Contractors, plumbers, electricians, painters, etc., are people thet can be called when repairs are needed and/or desired. But what happens when a place contains a damaging or painful memory? We can't call a roofer to fix that. We can, however work to recover from the memory. I recommend using a therapist for that. Therapists can help with that process and, in certain cases, can help to speed up the recovery.
Separating from a place is also an option when a painful experience is attached to it. I will be transparent now. Without going too far into detail (you'll have to wait for my book), I was raped in 2007. I went to a location that was familiar to me; I had been there many times before, and had been around the people many times before. This time, I was left alone with the person that ended up forcing himself on me. Over the years, with therapy, prayer, tears, and lots of hugs from family and friends, I was able to heal from the experience. I've even seen that man again and felt nothing but pity for him. But I've never been back to that place again. I completely separated myself from it, and the neighborhood itself. It was necessary for me. If there has been an experience that has been tragic or painful, I completely understand the need for separation.
Did you notice that I mentioned therapy quite a few times in this blog? That's because, unlike relationships, places aren't as fickle. Many times, people try to DIY themselves through traumatic experiences. If you find yourself stuck, or need help even getting started, please reach out to someone. We're available.